In early 2015, our Archdiocese like many others was offered a 47-question open-ended survey in order to gather information about what people throughout the world understand about the Church’s teaching, her pastoral practice, current conditions, and the reality of marriage and family life. The survey was probably a poor translation, and the questions were ill-structured, so I ended up writing about 15,500 words in the one week window for completing it. I have chosen to share a few of these, here, as well, for your comments. I will quote the question, and what follows is my answer. I have edited the answers slightly for brevity, politeness, and clarity.
4. Beyond proclaiming God’s Word and pointing out extreme situations, how does the Church choose to be present “as Church” and to draw near families in extreme situations? (cf. n. 8). How does the Church seek to prevent these situations? What can be done to support and strengthen families of believers and those faithful to the bonds of marriage?
These questions are so broad that it is hard to imagine many people answering them meaningfully in the time alotted.
I am going to interpret “how does” to mean “what do you see … doing” and “extreme situation” to refer to actual extremes, as in Libya or Nigeria or China, rather than admittedly severe first-world problems.
Judged as an NGO, the Church is pretty effective. It is a meaningful (though increasingly marginalized) broker at the UN, and Catholic Charities, Catholic Relief Services, and a spaghetti soup of related aid organizations do much-needed work and are highly regarded for doing so.
Whether NGO work is “as Church” in a more robust sense or not, of course, it is still good to do. However, it has a flaw. In communities with severe local culture problems but surplus wealth, the hand that gives to charity (often without clear articulation to “support of the Church”) often turns out to be a prosthesis for an amputated hand—the hand that should clasp the neighbor’s, open the door of hospitality, cling tightly to a spouse, help children walk, break down walls of injustice, and labor for the common good. It is simply easier to give sporadically to remote causes than to risk the messiness of personal involvement with families that live near us. As a result, the Church’s NGO-style activity often comes into direct competition with its more primary mission, to build Christians together fit for charity with God and each other.
At a more local level, parish ministry must stop following the age-segregating norm of secular institutions, which have every reason to disrupt the traditionary action of families and churches. Rather than having a plethora of divisions in the parish, we must attempt to have a parish of families, and to involve those not in families with families. Single people will not learn family living from other singles; the young will not learn childcare except from the married with children; the new parents will not learn wise child-rearing except from those who have survived it!