In early 2015, our Archdiocese like many others was offered a 47-question open-ended survey in order to gather information about what people throughout the world understand about the Church’s teaching, her pastoral practice, current conditions, and the reality of marriage and family life. The survey was probably a poor translation, and the questions were ill-structured, so I ended up writing about 15,500 words in the one week window for completing it. I have chosen to share a few of these, here, as well, for your comments. I will quote the question, and what follows is my answer. I have edited the answers slightly for brevity, politeness, and clarity.
18. What initiatives can lead people to understand the value of an indissoluble and fruitful marriage as the path to complete personal fulfilment? (cf. n. 21)
Well, someone seeking “personal fulfillment” is likely to be disappointed, as “personal fulfillment” is not possible on the terms our culture offers. Instead, one will be compelled to pursue distractions and delusions to the point of exhaustion, for satiety is impossible in such circumstances.
Nevertheless, for the one who hears the call to participate in the lives of others, most highly in the life of God by being made part of the Body of Christ, and therefore part of the lives of all the faithful in all times and places, whose joys and sufferings are essential to the good of all souls and the fulfillment of all Creation, there can be “personal fulfillment” in the form of surrender to the Creator, the Christ, His Cross, and His Church. The Sacrament of Matrimony is the way in which Christ especially calls into that life many of those not called out of this world (to holy virginity) or not configured to His foot-washing Headship within the Body (in the Sacrament of Order). Until we are satiated with Christ, so that we hunger for Him more than necessary food, we are condemned to restlessness (acedia) and avidity (concupiscentia).
Almost every religious and philosophical viewpoint except that of perpetual adolescence in a consumerist culture, that is, every mature viewpoint not obliterated by the “youth culture,” recognizes that this restlessness and avidity are the diseases common to all; that physical poverty is only the most recognizeable mask of spiritual poverty, and its least dangerous one. By boldly proclaiming that the Sacrament of Matrimony, as the ministry of the faithful husband and wife to the Church, embodied most plainly in their children, is a calling unlike any simulacrum available, and that even “natural marriage” is more truly fulfilled in the love of Christ that calls forth a response from His Bride, the Church engages in a verbal and practical catechesis, an “echoing” that has the richness God’s Word alone can give it, and is therefore immeasurably superior to any public-relations strategy or quasi-pastoral dilution.
We, married people in the Church, carry this burden—a difficult weight, an obligation, and a message—for the world, and we long for the whole Church to boldly say, “We are with you!” so that we can then say to those who struggle around us, “We, our families, our friends, we are all with you.” We cannot do it alone, or unsupported; we cannot stay strong for the whole Church while the Church weakens us by her lack of support, her uncertain words on vital matters of the Word.